Black Hole
by SavageNymph
Summary: The end of New Moon from Edwards perspective.
1. Chapter 1

1. Oblivion

I concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other as I walked down the crowded street of Rio. My head swum with half fragmented plans....._ If she was happy....I could leave, I would let her be........but what of she isn't? Then maybe......._ I cut myself off there and sighed. I couldn't dare hope to be with her again. It was much too painful.....but still....my imagination drifted to how it would be if I went back.....I could run up to her window.....and there she would be in her bed. Her dark hair spread across the pillow.....her body curled into a ball under the covers. The rhythmic sound of her breathing and heartbeat. The way her brown eyes would shine with shock when she saw me.......I felt a smile flicker across my lips, then it died. An eternity of just imagining her was so empty to even picture. I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. I sighed and looked at the screen. Rosalie. I ducked into an alleyway and flipped open the phone. What trivial, un-important thing could she want now? I was a shell of a man, nothing mattered anymore. Why must she force me to talk at all?  
"Hello, Rose."  
"Edward. I have something to tell you."  
Here we go.  
"It's about Bella."  
Suddenly the world stopped. I was numb. I couldn't feel the phone in my hand. My lips didn't move as I croaked out the half strangled words.  
"What?"  
"Well.........Alice had a vision......She.....well she saw Bella jumping off a cliff. She never came out of the water. I'm sorry."  
Pain beyond anything I had ever felt shot through me. I fell to my knees, not noticing anything. The air was sucked from my chest. I felt like I was being crushed. I deftly hung up on Rosalie and slumped to the ground. It felt as if flaming daggers were piercing every inch of my skin. In my mind I saw Bella's face when I told her I didn't want her. The belief, the agony in her trusting brown eyes.  
It was my fault.  
Guilt wrenched through me. It felt like I was being sucked into a black hole. Nothing was here. Nothing. My fingers clawed for my phone. There had to be another way....it wasn't true. Please let it not be true. I dialed the number quickly and put the phone to my ear.  
"Swan Residence."  
It was not Charlie....if I wasn't so thoroughly distracted I might have recognized it.  
"May I speak to Charlie?" I asked, trying to calm my breathing.  
"He's not here."  
"Where is he?" Say with Bella. Say with Bella. Offer to have Bella come to the phone instead.  
"He's at the funeral." The pain and guilt wrenched through me again. It was true..of course it was. I pressed END and sprang to my feet. I couldn't live any longer. I didn't deserve to live. I darted out of the alleyway and tossed my phone in the trash. I didn't need my family to come for me now.

I needed death.  
I needed......

I needed the Volturi.


	2. 2 Nostalgic

2. Nostalgic

As the plane lifted off the ground I put my head against the seat and closed my eyes. I needed to get lost in the chatter of the peoples' minds. I couldn't be in my own head right now.

_Is this skirt flattering? Maybe I should have gone shorter..._

_What's that smell?_  
_I hope the hotel room is nice....._  
_I'm gonna get you get you drunk, get you drunk on my lady humps...._  
_Who's that hottie with the red hair?_

I sighed and tuned out the chattering. Surely something else would be mind numbing and yet not so nausating. I looked up at the movie that was playing. Yes, human television. The ultimate technique to numb the mind. Although it was really all for not, the ripping, burning pain still coursed through me. I felt like there was a boulder lodged in my chest. Instead of focusing on the movie I started to plan what I would say to Aro....It would need to be convincing. Of course if she refused, well then Volterra was about to get a nightmarish surprise.

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................

I jammed my foot against the gas peddle smiled grimly as the car started to whiz faster across the country side. All the plane rides had been torturous. I was finally alone.....although I wasn't truly alone. Bella's face was in my mind at all times. As I zoomed through the Italian country side memories of her dripped through my mind. The way her eyes sparkled........the way she muttered in her sleep.....the first time she had said she loved me......the feeling of her warm hands caressing my face.....her lips against mine......her laugh.....I closed my eyes and felt a silent sob escape my lips. Whatever awaited me when I was dead, it had to be better then this. I would even endure the seventh ring of hell if that meant that I wouldn't have to be in a world without Bella.  
_"He's at the funeral....."_  
Those words cut through me again. New images appeared in my tortured mind.  
Bella, cold, white, and lifeless, laying in a coffin.  
The coffin closing on her beautiful face.  
Gone forever.

The sobs were coming faster now. I pushed harder on the gas petal of the stolen car. Death was the only painkiller for this. My hands tightened on the steering wheel and I willed the car to go faster. Bella had hated it when I drove fast. I felt another wave of pain when I realized that I had to use past tenses for her now. I grit my teeth and focused on the winding road in front of me.

_"Mostly I dream about being with your forever."_

Forever had lost all meaning.

I thought the worst pain I would ever feel was the transformation when I became a vampire.  
I was wrong.

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................  
Finally. There it was. Volterra. I could see it resting atop the hill. I swallowed, feeling the burn of my thirst, I was so close.  
It wouldn't be long.


	3. The Volturi

3. The Volturi

The night closed in on me. I looked up at the sky and felt another wave of torture rip through me. The stars glittered high above me, and my star was dead. Gone....her brilliant light never to shine, illuminating everything she came in contact with. I was glad suddenly that I was in the heart of the Volterra, I was close to being able to die. It would be a relief. I ran over in my head everything I planned to say to Aro...to beg if need be.

_Wot?!_ I heard the shocked cry in someones head and I smiled grimly. Finally, some of the guard. They had noticed I was a vampire.  
_Its a one of us....what the bloody hell is he doing here?_ I rolled my shoulders back and took a step closer to where the guards stalked in an alleyway.  
"Hello." I called sociably into the darkness. I could see the two men now, one tall and lean, the other short and wide. Their muscles rivaled Emmet, something I knew would bother him. The tall one walked closer to me.  
"A very casual greeting for a stranger who is in strange lands. Who are you? And what do you seek in Volterra?" He asked. I smiled at him, still trying to seem sane.....although them killing me now did not seem like such a repellent idea. His thoughts seemed vaguely calm....I picked his name out of his head before replying.  
"My name is Edward Cullen, son of Carlisle Cullen. I came here to visit Aro, who is an old friend of my fathers. if you could take me to him I would very much appreciate it, Demetri." Demetri raised his eyebrows.  
"How did you know my name?" He asked, dumbfounded. The second man, who I quickly learned was Felix, walked up and thumped Demetri on the back.  
"He must be a mind reader like Aro."  
_Is that true, Cullen?_  
I nodded. Felix grinned and me.  
"Well then, this should be entertaining."  
_If you want to see Aro then follow me, Edward Cullen_ Demetri thought before turning.  
"Let's go, Felix." He said. I sighed in relief and started walking after the man. How close I was! I closed my eyes for a brief second and tried to empty my mind. I needed to be able to talk to Aro calmly. But as soon as my eyelids shut I could only see her face. Her long brown hair, her eyes shining with excitement, her heart beating erratically any time I touched her......I forced my eyes open and tried to ignore Felix as he gaped and me, for I was sure my face was twisted in agony. Soon. I told myself.  
_Soon....._

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................

"Stay here." Felix commanded me as Demetri through the door that I was sure led to some kind of throne room. I nodded. As if I could move anywhere else. I had no where to go, my reason for life was gone.  
_"What's eating that kid?_ he thought before stepping into the the room. I listened to what was going on in the room.  
"Felix, Demetri! You've returned!" I heard a soft voice cry. That must have been Aro. Carlisle always said he was rather eccentric.  
"You are early." I heard another voice. Caius?  
"We ran into someone, master."  
"How exiting! And who might that be?"  
"Edward......Cullen."  
It was silent in the room for a moment and I concentrated on the thoughts that swirled around in confusion.  
_Edward Cullen?! Carlisle's son? How fascinating!!_ Aro, at least, seemed to be glad I was here. This was not going to help my situation.  
"Edward, come in, come in! I can hear your breathing, dear one!" Aro yelled out. I took a deep breath and stepped into the room. It was elaborately decorated with five lush thrones as the focal point. The three ancients and the two wives lounged on them. My eyes skipped over to Marcus, who wasn't even looking at me, instead he was looking at the empty throne next to him. I saw a woman with long pale hair in his imagination. She must be his wife....or judging from the tone of his thoughts, she had been his wife.  
"So it is, Carlisle's son! I can see some gold in your eyes." Aro's tone was one of amazement. I nodded my head.  
"Yes, I have been with Carlisle for over a hundred years now." I replied. Aro shook his head in wonder.  
"To what do we owe this visit, Edward? I have not spoken to Carlisle for many decades now." I picked through his mind for a long minute. Then I reached out my hand.  
"Let me show you." I replied. Aro raised his eyebrows.  
"I believe we have something in common." He said lightly. I nodded, my hand still outstretched.  
"Come see for yourself." I said, knowing Aro would not be able to resist.  
He couldn't.  
As soon as out fingers met I let his probe my mind. He saw all my memories since the day I awoke as a vampire. He saw how Bella smelled to me, the first day I saw her. Saw the un just hate I had felt for her.....then he saw how my feelings had morphed into thwe all consuming love.....he saw all our time together.....saw as I realized what I must do to protect her from what I was.....then he saw, and it was painful to re-live, what I learned about her death. When he finally let go of my hand his eyes were shining. It was in that moment I saw two things that worried me now, even in this state of total numbness and pain.  
Alice and I, on either side of him. Our eyes red.  
And then, my family, growing and becoming stronger. Having things he wanted. Quickly he tucked away these thoughts, but I had seen them. I knew. Aro shook his head slowly.  
"Ah, young friend, the pain you have suffered. It makes me sad. Are you sure this is true? About the human girl?" I heard murmurs at the mention of a human.  
"Yes. Alice saw her go down.....she never came up." Ripping, burning daggers.  
_So much grief for a mere human?_ Aro thought. I felt my lips pull back over my teeth, a growl started to build in my chest. Aro chuckled.  
"Peace, friend." I nodded and tried to calm myself.  
"What is going on, Aro?" Caius demanded. Aro turned to address the other ancients.  
"Brothers, Edward here has lost something very dear to him. He has lost his mate.....if you can call her that, for she was a human!"  
_Poor boy._ Marcus thought.  
_What a fool!_ Caius thought.  
"That is a....shame, Edward. But still, why do you come here?" Caius asked. Aro shook his head.  
"That is the sad part, brothers. For dear Edward here has come here to ask us a favor." Caius lifted his eyebrows.  
"And what might that be?" He asked. I looked directly into his black eyes.  
"I have come here to ask for death."


	4. 4 Favor

4. FAVOR

Marcus turned to look at me for the first time.  
_He does not seem weak...and yet he cannot live through his mates death? Many have been forced into this empty existence and yet he cannot handle it?_  
I might have been angry if it had not been true, I was weak, I could not 'handle' a world without Bella.....her name carved deep scars into my heart. The room seemed to waver in front of me....this pain was to much.  
"Please. I have no wish to continue living, I want death." So I was begging now. It seemed fitting that my last moments would be pathetic, a pathetic end for a pathetic man.  
"Oh, young friend, you ask a great favor from us. To kill an innocent fellow!" Aro waved his hands as if he were trying to shoo my request out of the room. Caius nodded gravely.  
"It is a great extreme for us to kill an immortal who has done no wrong."  
_Although I really wouldn't mind....._  
At least one of them was willing to kill me.  
"I do not want to live anymore. I am asking you as a favor, begging if need be." Besides, I was not innocent; it was my existence that had mangled and finally ended Bella's life. I was worse then a monster. Aro was shaking his head slowly....I could see that mental picture of me again, me with blood red eyes in a long gray cloak. I felt a crushing sense of defeat when I realized that he would not grant me my wish. He wanted me to join.  
"Young friend...." Aro began, I could see what he was about to offer.  
"I am sorry, Aro, but I do not wish to join your.....family." That was a very, very loose term for the coven that lived here. Aro sighed and shook his head sadly.  
"I am sad that you feel that way, but I will not force you-" What a lie. "But I will talk over you request with my brothers. Will you be close to hear our verdict?" I nodded.  
"I will be very close, I'm sure your men will be able to find my scent." Aro nodded, already resigned.  
I knew he would not grant me death.  
And he knew I would not let that stop me.

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................

I wandered the red brown cobblestone streets aimlessly. What was I to do now? I suppose I should start thinking about ways to aggravate the guard after Aro told me no. I walked until I found what I was looking for. A hotel. I walked in and marched brusquely to the counter.  
"Room for one, please." I murmured in Italian....the woman at the front desk looked up and I heard her heart accelerate.  
_Che il bel ragazzo!_ She cried in her thoughts.

_Do I dazzle you?  
Frequently..._

The memory shot through my, painful and vivid as I watched this woman be dazzled by my predatory beauty. I handed her my credit card and she swiped it numbly, still rather shell shocked. She handed me my room key. I thanked her politely and then started walking towards the elevator.  
"Piacere il suo soggiorno." She called after my retreating back. Enjoy my stay. The only part I would enjoy is when I left.  
Left this earth.  
Forever.

As I pressed the button that would take my luggage-less self up to my room I wondered briefly what would await me on the other side. Could I dare even dream that perhaps..I would see her again? I banished the thought, wherever I went I knew she would not be with me. She deserved the greatest heaven the afterlife could offer.  
I deserved Hell.


	5. 5 Verdict

5. VERDICT  
I lay my face against the window and watched as the sun rose over the city. How long must I wait? Thoughts of Bella had tortured me all night, and yet still the Volturi did not come for me. How long would it take for them to decide my fate? How long must I suffer as the memories of her never ceased? The image of her with tears in her eyes dragged through my mind, I had made her cry by telling her it was a mistake letting myself get close to her. How many times had I hurt her? And yet she still loved me, and now she was dead. The word burned like fire throughout my being.  
Dead.  
I stepped back into the darkness of my room before the sun grew to high in the sun. Suddenly I heard what I been waiting for all this time.  
_Edward?_ It was Felix. They had come for me. I grabbed my key card and then darted down the emergency stairs so fast no one would see me. I slowed before walking casually past the check out desk, and out the door. When I burst out into the darkish grey of dawn searched the area…probing for a mind. I found Demitri and then made my way carefully to where they were hiding.  
"Follow us." Felix said gravely before turning. I searched his mind. Ah, as I had thought. Aro would tell me no. Well, that would not stop me.

I entered the gilded throne room yet again, Aro stepped down and held his hands out in welcome.  
"Hello, my young friend, it pleases me to see you again!" I nodded in response to his greeting. Just get it over with, Aro. I had a city to terrorize.  
"I am sure you already know what our verdict is?" He asked pleasantly, I nodded again. Aro reached out his hand and placed on my shoulder. A subtle way to hear what I was thinking.  
"Will you please re-consider my offer? You could be such an addition to our little family!" I shook my head.  
"I'm sorry, Aro. But I have no wish to join. Please do not think me rude, but I would prefer to…." I trailed off, letting Aro pick the answer from my mind. He sighed and shook his head,  
"Such a waste." He sighed again. Cauis stood.  
"I believe you are free to go, Edward. Although I'm sure we'll see each other soon."  
_Suicide over a mortal? How sickening._ He thought with acid in his mental voice. It was all I could do to say good-bye to the vampires congregated there and then turn around and leave without attacking Caius. I followed numbly as Felix led me back to the waiting room. "Take the underground route." He said, I nodded, for the sun must surely be up by now.  
"Be seeing you soon, Edward." Felix said, grinning at the thought of slaughtering me. I could have smiled to, I was so close.  
Now I just needed a plan.


End file.
